Sanding a wall in preparation for painting. The new karate kid.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Birthday Poems To Irritate Men
Over the years I seem to have amused and delighted many friends and colleagues by composing funny poems and writing them in their birthday cards. I have now decided to publish my anthology of wit, humour and downright rudeness for the world to enjoy!
These rhymes have proven to be particularly popular with women - demonstrating how cruel and heartless the 'gentler' sex can be to the men in their lives. They can be copied into birthday cards, Father's Day cards, Christmas cards, or simply cut and pasted onto an email ... in fact they can be used anytime someone you know needs cheering up - or bringing down a peg or two!
Many of the poems rely heavily on the shortcomings of we poor men; ie, drunkenness, uncontrolled flatulence, lecherousness, good old fashioned plain laziness, inability to master DIY, thinning hair, suspiciously thickening midriff etc, etc. Characteristics which I'm sure apply to some extent to all husbands, boyfriends and sons.
You will see that each poem contains a man's first name, but not as part of the rhyme. In other words, you can easily 'personalise' the rhyme by replacing the name with the name of the person you would like to send it to. (This works best if the names have the same number of syllables. For example, 'Bob' can be changed to John, Dave, Mick, Paul etc; 'Andy' can be changed to Simon, Roger, Alan etc).
For whatever reason you decide to send one, the poor unsuspecting fellow will receive a very amusing rhyme poking fun at some of his - shall we say - less romantic characteristics. A possible side effect is that he may also be impressed at your wit, humour and resourcefulness - but please don't expect him to admit to that. Here they are;
*
Ian doesn't much like it,
When you tell him he's losing his hair;
And he gets just a little bit grumpy,
When you point out his tyre is spare.
So be sensitive now it's his birthday,
And remember, the man's not bionic;
Sit him down in his chair, don't mention the hair
And pour him a large Gin and Tonic.
*
John likes booze and John likes women, He doesn't like running and he doesn't like swimming; He likes sitting down and he likes eating grub, He doesn't like work but he does like the pub.
Being John's Missus is a pain in the neck, When he dresses up smart, he still looks a wreck! He thinks posh restaurants and theatres are above him, But I suppose all these things are just reasons I love him!
*
There once was a young man called Laurence,
Who when urinating did so in torrents,
When asked, "Was it Venice
That inspired this menace?"
He replied, "No, I learnt it in Florence".
*
Matthew wants presents for his birthday, Matthew wants jewellery and cars, Matthew wants to go out to restaurants, And meet gorgeous women in bars.
Well I've got a present for Matthew, For this playboy who thinks he's so cool, It's what he got me for my birthday, Coincidentally that's B*GGER ALL!
*
Nigel is a gentleman, It isn't just a pose;
His shoes are always polished, And he never picks his nose.
He opens doors for ladies, And offers them his seat;
His nails are never dirty, And his hair is always neat.
But when it's Nigel's birthday, He loses all his class;
He has an awful lot to drink, And ends up on his a*se!
*
Peter when I look at you, I remember when you were twenty-two,
Your hair was thick, your wrinkles few, And you didn't spend so long in the loo!
*
Robert, on your birthday, I want you to relax;
Sit down and put your feet up, And I'll bring you drinks and snacks.
I'll do all the household chores, And put your clothes away;
In fact it won't be much different, To every other day!
*
Vince, Vince, what can the matter be, You're turning into Les Battersby,
It's your birthday on Saturday, So for crying out loud mate CHEER UP!
*
Alan you know I love you, You're really very sweet;
In fact I'd call you perfect If it wasn't for your feet!
*
Brian has a problem, He's older than before,
And now that it's his birthday, He feels a little sore.
But Brian shouldn't worry, Or mooch around the house,
Because what he lacks in youthfulness, He makes up for with nouse!
*
Charlie likes to have a drink, And he's often in a hurry;
But keep your distance in the morning, If he's been out for a curry!
*
David, Happy Birthday Love, I've kept you dressed and fed;
Now I ask just one thing of you - Please stop farting in bed!
*
Frank, your birthday's here again, So it's a good time just to sit
And wonder why for the rest of the year, You're such a miserable git!!
*
Eddie, now you're getting old, And your hair is going grey;
I have some words to say to you, On this your special day.
You're generous, wise, good-looking, kind, And all your jokes are funny;
But the greatest thing about you Dear, Is all your lovely money!
*
Gary always gets drunk on his birthday, Once he's started, he just cannot stop;
So he usually gets slung out the boozer, And comes home with sick down his top!
*
Harry's the perfect husband, For 364 days of the year,
But he does go astray on his birthday, By trying to drown in beer!
*
Tony's very good at doing jobs around the house,
When it comes to DIY you couldn't find a better spouse;
So I thought that for his birthday I would get him something good,
To help him with the patio or bevelling of wood.
Should it be a power drill, or something else by Bosch?
A Black and Decker sander or a Karcher power wash?
But in the end I thought, you shouldn't fix what isn't broken,
So I did the same as last year - bought a ten pound record token!
*
There once was a fella called Kevin,
For whom being in a pub was just heaven,
When offered a drink,
He didn't have to think,
He would say, "Not just one, I'll have seven"!
*
Today is Dennis's birthday, And he'll probably go out to play,
I remember last year he knocked back so much beer, He ended up on Crimewatch UK!
*
Simon likes to go out with his mates, Simon likes to take girls out on dates,
He likes fish and chips and he likes Man United, And Keira Knightley gets him really excited.
He'll go out on his birthday and paint the town red,
He'll drink the bar dry then take cod and chips to bed,
He'll lie there wishing that Manchester was nearer,
Then he'll drop off to sleep and dream about Keira.
*
Andy don't want no presents for his birthday, Andy don't want special grub;
Andy don't want no cards and kisses, He just wants to go to the pub!
*
Barry is a nuisance on his birthday to be honest, All the usual types of gifts he doesn't like at all;
If you haven't spent a fortune he'll thinks your present's modest, So this year I've decided that he's getting B*GGER ALL!
*
Elliot quite likes to party On his birthday, with friends far and wide;
But curiously the next morning, He just wants to curl up and hide!
*
Happy birthday Timothy, Go out and have some fun;
Keep up your reputation as A Lazy Drunken Bum!
*
There once was a young man called Chris,
Who was permanently out on the p*ss,
When his birthday came round,
He just stayed in his lounge,
And drank cocoa all night - oh what bliss!
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Saturday, December 10, 2011
How to Use & Care for a Finishing Sander : How to Hold a Finishing Sander
Learn how to properly hold and handle a finishing sander in this free educational video series. Expert: teacherjon Bio: Jon holds a Bachelors of Science in Education and Human Sciences degree, with an endorsement in Industrial Technology Education from the University of Nebraska in Lincoln. Filmmaker: Jon Olson
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Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Black & Decker (Est. 1910) Power Tool Training Video Sanding Part 3
Black & Decker (Est. 1910) Power Tool Training Video Sanding section shows features and benefits + some tips for use of sanders. Black & Decker will soon be celebrating 100 years of innovation.
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Saturday, December 3, 2011
Black&Decker Mouse vs Cyclone
Mouse sander vs. new Cyclone sander with 120-grit sandpaper (on both) on MDF. Cyclone has vacuum suction and canister to capture dust.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Bosch 1294VSK 2.3 Amp Corner Detail Sander Kit
!±8± Bosch 1294VSK 2.3 Amp Corner Detail Sander Kit
Brand : Bosch | Rate : 
| Price : $107.99
Post Date : Nov 30, 2011 01:42:35 | Usually ships in 24 hours
| Price : $107.99Post Date : Nov 30, 2011 01:42:35 | Usually ships in 24 hours
Designed for tradesmen and serious woodworkers, this sturdy detail sander kit features Bosch’s revolutionary micro-filter dust canister for cleaner material, happier sanding, and healthier lungs. A true random orbit finishing motion--not an arc or pivot-- delivers precise, even finishing in corners and tight spaces with no swirls. An ergonomic soft-grip handle and low-vibration design ensures smooth running and optimal comfort. A three-position pad extends paper and pad life for fewer changes and less downtime. Vibrating at 13,000 to 19,000 orbits per minute, this double-insulated sander ensures fast, smooth results on all surfaces. Great for reconditioning trim without making a mess of the drywall, the sander comes with an array of sheet extenders for easily reaching into fine groove details, nooks, and contours for clean, smooth surfaces ready for paint or stain. A handy dial selection lets you choose 6 different speeds for sanding a wide variety of materials. Unlike many sanding pads that wear unevenly, rendering sheets useless when most of the grit is still there, this detail sander’s triangular pads turn a full 120 degrees to utilize the whole sheet. Hook-and-loop attachment makes it easy to attach and detach grits through each stage of the sanding process without ruining sheets. The purchase is covered by a Bosch, limited 1-year warranty. What’s in the Box
20 sanding sheets, polishing pad, extension plate, 2 narrow extensions (flat/oval), plastic case
More Specification..!!
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Sunday, November 27, 2011
Black & Decker MS550GB Mouse 5 Amp Detail Sander/Polisher with 34 Piece Accessory Pack
!±8± Black & Decker MS550GB Mouse 5 Amp Detail Sander/Polisher with 34 Piece Accessory Pack
This detail sander’s small size allows it to get into tight spaces. It has a very comfortable grip and comes with an attachment to sand in between stair balusters. It comes with a hook and loop sanding pad and scrubbing and polishing options. This is a light-duty tool, designed for occasional use, perfect for the homeowner or handyman.
This tool is not recommended for carpenters or woodworkers, as it is not designed to be used continuously for hours on end. Use this sander for light applications; if you intend to strip off multiple layers of paint or smooth rough-sawn lumber or sand hardwoods, you’d be better off going with a heavy-duty tool. -- Gabriel Shantara Ford
More Specification..!!
Monday, November 21, 2011
Concrete Grinder
Concrete grinders are tools that make use of circular discs, to even out a concrete surface and for giving it a smooth texture. These serve the purpose best, when you need to clean and area between 1/8 inches and 1/16 inches.
In addition to smoothening of a surface, concrete grinders also help in removing paints, rusts, graffiti and for preparing the surface for coating. While concrete grinders are used for clearing a larger surface, hand held concrete grinders are used to clean smaller areas such as corners and areas that are beyond the reach of a large grinder.
Based on the requirements, the grinder may be equipped with varied discs such as brushes and segments of diamond material.
Generally, these grinders either use gases such as propane for fuel. A few models do run on electricity, but these are suitable only for a small project. For bigger projects, grinders using gases are used.
Points to be remembered before buying a concrete grinder:
· The weight of the grinder: The weight of the grinders would be around 100lbs to 300lbs. More weight could result in better finish and would require more fuel. Hand held grinders are light weight and may weigh as little as 5lbs to provide easy handling to the user.
· The horse power in the grinders may vary from 2hp to 15 hp. If you are going to cover a larger area such as airport, you would need a grinder with greater horse power. For house hold projects, you will need a smaller horse power.
· For larger projects, you will require dual grinders, so that you can minimize the time required to complete the project and thereby, save cost.
· Some grinders are equipped with better features for dust collection. This is a useful feature for the operator, as it will protect the operator from inhaling dust and debris.
· Wet grinders include a tank, which can store up to 2 gallons of water.
· You should be able to alter the brushes with minimum hassle.
Once you have settled on the type of grinder you need, you can decide on whether you want to purchase the grinder out rightly. Instead of purchasing a grinder, you can opt for getting the grinder on lease or you can even buy a used grinder.
You will definitely save on cost with used or leased grinders, but it would be better to buy a grinder in case you are going to need the grinder for a long term project.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
A Review of Rockwell Sander Tools
A Rockwell sander is engineered for heavy use in many situations. The company makes both table mounted sanders and a portable orbital sander, designed for a wide range of sanding applications. Rockwell sander tools are often listed at the top of sander reviews, owing to their sturdy construction and versatile design. While these powerful tools are sometimes found in the home workshop, they are much more common in high production businesses where they are able to perform to their fullest potential.
Rockwell Spindle Sanders
The Rockwell spindle sander is stabilized by its die cast iron table. The 3.5 amp motor has more than enough energy to churn 58 oscillations per minute, which is a great speed wot achieve excellent sanding results without burning the material you are working with. In addition to the sander unit itself, this device comes with 21 accessories to help you get more done in less time than you ever have before.
Rockwell Belt / Disc Sanders
The Rockwell Belt.Disc sander is a combination of a 6 inch disc sander and a 4 inch wide by 36 inch long sanding belt. The belt table can be tilted from 0 to 90 degrees, and includes an adjustable belt tightening mechanism that makes changing belts as easy as one, two, three. This sander may be one of the best tabletop sanders you can buy, and is a popular models in trade and consumer reviews.
Rockwell Random Orbit Sanders
Rockwell random orbit sanders are relatively light weight, and feature the sanding power of a 2.7 amp motor. To help you keep the job clean and highly visible, Rockwell employs cyclonic dust removal technology similar to what is found in popular vacuum cleaners, moving the dust out of the field of work and into the special separator. For precision sanding, the unit includes a flat cast aluminum base, and it features a faster removal rate with lower vibration interference.
Understanding Rockwell Sander Reviews
Rockwell sander reviews are helpful in learning more about a prospective purchase. Compare the RPM or OPM with similar models made by other companies, and take note of how much work you can expect to get for your investment. Make sure to compare sanders equally, and take note of any special features that would make your sanding jobs a little easier to accomplish. Rockwell power tools are meant to work hard and long, but they may not be perfect for every need.
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